Chapter 25 - The Father Derrick Was Becoming
Healing made Derrick uncomfortable.
Anger had been simpler.
When Aisha was wrong, Derrick knew his role.
Correct the records.
Protect Jayden.
Document facts.
Now Aisha was apologizing.
Marcus was cooperating.
The legal case was essentially resolved.
And Derrick had to examine what remained inside himself.
Dr. Harris asked him one afternoon:
“If Aisha never again challenges your role, what are you still afraid of?”
Derrick laughed.
“You therapists hate peace.”
“Answer.”
He thought.
“That Jayden will grow up and prefer their house.”
“Why?”
“They have more money.”
Dr. Harris waited.
“Marcus has a nicer house.”
More silence.
“They travel.”
She nodded.
“And?”
Derrick looked down.
“They look like a family.”
There it was.
The same wound Aisha carried, reflected differently.
“What does your house look like?”
“Me.”
“And Jayden.”
“Yes.”
“Does two people look less like a family?”
Derrick did not answer.
Dr. Harris smiled.
“You both became obsessed with visual legitimacy.”
He stared at her.
“Aisha wanted matching names.”
“And you wanted matching lineage.”
“That sounds unfair.”
“Does it?”
Derrick considered.
He had never tried to rename Jayden.
Never demoted Aisha.
Never called her anything other than his mother.
But he had carried pride in Cole as if it validated fatherhood.
Maybe part of his reaction at the auditorium had been public humiliation because Turner made Marcus look like the father.
Not simply because Aisha acted without permission.
“I hated everybody seeing Turner,” Derrick admitted.
“Why?”
“Because they assumed Marcus was his dad.”
“And what does a stranger’s assumption change?”
“Nothing.”
“So why did it hurt?”
“Because I knew the truth and still felt invisible.”
Dr. Harris nodded.
“That’s human.”
Derrick looked up.
“Human can still become harmful.”
“Yes.”
He thought about Jayden asking if Grandpa would be angry.
The child had already learned Derrick’s pride could become a test.
“I don’t want him inheriting that.”
“Then teach him identity is a gift, not a debt.”
That evening Derrick opened the storage box from Renee.
He found Leonard Cole’s old watch.
When Jayden arrived Friday, Derrick showed it to him.
“Grandpa’s?”
“Yeah.”
Jayden tried it on.
Too large.
“Looks ridiculous.”
“It does.”
Derrick laughed.
“Why are you giving me this?”
“I’m not yet.”
“Oh.”
“You’re eleven. You’d lose it.”
“True.”
Derrick sat beside him.
“I want you to have it someday.”
Jayden studied the scratched metal.
“Because I’m a Cole?”
Derrick paused.
Then shook his head.
“Because you’re his grandson.”
Jayden looked up.
“What if my name changed?”
“You’d still be his grandson.”
The boy smiled.
“Good answer.”
“You’ve been around therapists too much.”
They laughed.
Then Jayden surprised him.
“I don’t want to change my name.”
Derrick kept his expression neutral.
“Okay.”
“Not now.”
“Okay.”
“Maybe never.”
“Okay.”
Jayden narrowed his eyes.
“You’re trying not to smile.”
Derrick failed.
“Maybe.”
Jayden laughed.
“I knew it.”
Derrick became serious.
“You are allowed to change your mind later.”
“I know.”
“And if you ever do, I’m going to have feelings.”
“I know.”
“But they’re yours.”
Derrick smiled.
“No.”
Jayden grinned.
“They’re yours.”
“Exactly.”
At Aisha’s house, Marcus was confronting another legacy.
He had begun clearing out the home office when he found a framed mock-up Aisha had ordered months before.
A family crest.
TURNER
Underneath:
Marcus, Aisha & Jayden
Marcus stared.
Aisha entered.
Her face fell.
“I forgot about that.”
Marcus removed it from the box.
“You were really building an empire.”
She groaned.
“Please throw it away.”
Marcus looked at it.
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I think we need one terrible object from this period.”
Aisha laughed.
“What for?”
“So when we start acting crazy again, we point at it.”
She took the frame.
For a moment they both laughed.
Then Aisha became serious.
“I hurt you too.”
Marcus nodded.
“I know.”
“I treated your love for Jayden like proof he should become yours.”
“Yes.”
“You never asked for that.”
“No.”
“I’m sorry.”
Marcus nodded slowly.
“Thank you.”
She leaned against him.
“Do you still want kids?”
Marcus’s body stiffened.
“If we can.”
“I mean emotionally.”
He looked at her.
“Yes.”
Aisha swallowed.
“I’ve been afraid to talk about it because I thought if we had a biological child, Jayden would feel separate.”
Marcus understood.
Again, she had tried to eliminate difference rather than trust love.
“We won’t solve that by pretending differences don’t exist,” he said.
Aisha nodded.
“I’m learning.”
Upstairs, Jayden’s laughter came through the hallway.
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Marcus smiled.
“We all are.”
