Chapter 23 - The Second Proposal
David did not move home.
That was his condition.
If they attempted reconciliation, it would not begin with restoring appearances.
No suitcase returned.
No wedding ring.
No announcement to Ethan.
Sarah agreed.
They started dating.
The absurdity made both laugh.
Their first date was at the same Italian restaurant where David proposed nine years earlier.
Sarah noticed.
“You chose this on purpose.”
“I almost didn’t.”
“Why?”
“Too obvious.”
She smiled.
“You’re learning spontaneity.”
“Painfully.”
They spoke about everything except Ethan for the first thirty minutes.
That rule had been suggested by their therapist.
Sarah asked about David’s architecture sketches.
He stared.
“You remember those?”
“You used to draw buildings when we met.”
“I haven’t in years.”
“Why?”
He shrugged.
“Life.”
“No.”
Sarah smiled.
“That answer isn’t allowed anymore.”
David thought.
“My father convinced me architecture was impractical. Finance paid better. Then marriage, house, Ethan…”
“You stopped wanting things that weren’t useful.”
He looked at her.
“That sounds accusatory.”
“It isn’t.”
Sarah touched her wine glass.
“I stopped wanting things I already had.”
David understood.
They had opposite failures.
He abandoned desire for duty.
She abandoned gratitude for desire.
Neither had known how to balance both.
After dinner they walked beside the river.
Sarah stopped beneath a streetlamp.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yes.”
“If we reconcile, would you ever trust me completely again?”
David answered truthfully.
“No.”
Her face fell.
“Not the way I did before.”
“What does that mean?”
“I trusted you like gravity.”
Sarah looked away.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
He continued.
“Maybe adult trust isn’t believing someone can never hurt you.”
“What is it?”
“Believing they’ll tell the truth before the hurt becomes a second life.”
Sarah wiped her eyes.
“I can do that.”
“I hope so.”
“Do you believe me?”
“Some days.”
She laughed through tears.
“That’s horrible.”
“It’s honest.”
Sarah reached for his hand.
He allowed it.
At the end of the evening she expected a kiss.
David kissed her forehead.
It felt more intimate.
Ethan noticed the change quickly.
“You guys are weird.”
Sarah smiled.
“How?”
“You’re nice.”
“We were always nice.”
Ethan gave her a look.
“Not like this.”
David hid a smile.
“Observant.”
“Are you getting back together?”
Both adults answered simultaneously.
“We don’t know.”
Ethan groaned.
“Adults.”
Michael heard about the dates during his next visit.
He became quiet.
Ethan noticed.
“Are you sad?”
Michael considered lying.
“Yes.”
“Because Mom might pick Dad?”
Michael looked at him.
“This isn’t about picking anymore.”
Ethan raised an eyebrow.
Michael smiled faintly.
“I’m trying.”
“Do you still love Mom?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want her back?”
Michael took a long breath.
“No.”
Ethan looked surprised.
“Why?”
“Because wanting someone doesn’t mean being good for them.”
Ethan thought about that.
“That sounds like therapy.”
“It absolutely is.”
They laughed.
Michael had begun rebuilding his life in smaller ways.
He sold his interest in Kane-Weller Logistics as part of the settlement.
The proceeds reduced his debt.
He took a salaried operations job at another company.
Less prestige.
Less upside.
Less opportunity to gamble with money he did not have.
Trevor agreed to a repayment plan.
Michael hated every automatic withdrawal.
He also respected it.
Consequences had become routine.
Perhaps that was what change actually looked like.
Not declarations.
Monthly payments.
At the end of March, David returned to the old house for dinner.
Afterward Sarah found him in the living room staring at the coffee table.
The divorce papers were gone.
The wedding ring was not.
She had kept it in a small wooden box.
Sarah opened it.
David looked at the ring.
“No.”
Her face changed.
“I’m not asking you to put it on.”
“Oh.”
She sat beside him.
“I thought maybe we should decide what it means.”
David lifted the ring.
On the inside was the engraving:
STAY WILD WITH ME.
They both laughed sadly.
“How ironic,” Sarah whispered.
David rotated the ring between his fingers.
“When I proposed, I thought staying meant never leaving.”
Sarah nodded.
“Now?”
“I think staying means continuing to choose the same truth after the fantasy changes.”
She looked at him.
“Are you choosing me?”
David’s eyes filled.
“I’m trying.”
Sarah whispered:
“So am I.”
He placed the ring back in the box.
Not yet.
A week later David took Ethan bicycle shopping because he had outgrown his old one.
Ethan chose a dark green mountain bike.
At the park David steadied the seat while Ethan adjusted the brakes.
“You know I can ride.”
“I know.”
“Then let go.”
David smiled.
He released the seat.
Ethan rode ahead.
For years David had thought fatherhood meant holding on.
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Now he understood something harder.
Sometimes the proof that you stayed was being secure enough to let go.
