Chapter 9 - Jayden’s Ledger
Jayden had a notebook too.
Tasha found it accidentally.
She was gathering laundry from his room when a spiral pad slid off the desk.
She bent to pick it up.
Then saw the first page.
DAD — AUGUST
Shoes — $82
Haircut — $30
Phone — $45
School money — $600
Below it:
MOM
Groceries — ?
Electric — ?
House — $1,250
Uniform — $64
Doctor — $25
Tasha sat down on the edge of his bed.
There were months of entries.
Not accurate accounting.
A child’s attempt to understand war.
When Jayden appeared in the doorway, Tasha held up the notebook.
“What is this?”
His face changed.
“You went through my stuff?”
“It fell.”
“That doesn’t mean read it.”
“You’re right.”
She closed it.
“I’m sorry.”
Jayden stood there.
Tasha waited.
Eventually he crossed the room and took it from her.
“Why do you keep track?”
He shrugged.
“Jayden.”
“So I know.”
“Know what?”
“Who’s mad.”
Tasha’s chest tightened.
He sat at his desk.
“If Dad buys something, you get quiet.”
“I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
Tasha said nothing.
“If you ask him for extra money, he asks what it’s for.”
“That’s normal.”
“He asks like a detective.”
She almost defended Marcus.
Then stopped.
Jayden continued.
“And when Grandma asks you for house money, you start moving stuff around.”
“What stuff?”
“Bills.”
“How do you know?”
“You talk on the phone.”
She had forgotten children heard everything.
Jayden opened his drawer.
Inside were white envelopes.
“What are those?”
“Grandma’s.”
Tasha stared.
“She gives them to you?”
“Sometimes.”
“Why?”
“To give you.”
He pulled out several.
Each had Tasha’s name written on the front.
Inside one was a handwritten reminder.
Rent due by Friday. Please do not put me in the position of having to take action.
Another:
You are $300 short. We cannot keep doing this.
Another:
Property is responsibility, not charity.
Tasha’s hands shook.
“How long have you had these?”
“I forget to give them to you sometimes.”
“Jayden.”
“She tells me not to lose them.”
Anger surged through Tasha so intensely that she had to stand.
Her mother had used her son as a collection service.
“Did she ever tell you what would happen if I didn’t pay?”
Jayden looked away.
“Tell me.”
“She said grown-ups who don’t pay rent have to move.”
Tasha closed her eyes.
“Anything else?”
“She said maybe Dad would take me.”
Her eyes opened.
“What?”
Jayden immediately regretted saying it.
“She didn’t say it mean.”
“How did she say it?”
“She said I’d always have somewhere to go because Dad could take care of me.”
“And Maya and Eli?”
He looked down.
“She didn’t say.”
Tasha sat beside him.
“Listen to me.”
Jayden’s eyes filled.
“No matter what happens with this house, you, Maya and Eli are not being separated because of money.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“Yes, I can.”
“What if Grandma owns it?”
“Then I will find another place for all of us.”
“What if Dad buys it?”
“He isn’t.”
“What if you can’t pay?”
Tasha swallowed.
“Then I will figure it out.”
He looked unconvinced.
“You always say that.”
“I know.”
“And then you cry in the laundry room.”
Tasha stopped breathing.
Jayden looked horrified.
“I wasn’t spying.”
She pulled him into her arms.
For a second he stayed stiff.
Then he collapsed against her.
“I don’t want everybody fighting because of me.”
“This is not because of you.”
“It started with my six hundred dollars.”
“No.”
“It did.”
“The argument started there.”
She pulled back enough to look at him.
“But the problems were already here.”
He wiped his eyes.
“What if I give the shoes back?”
“No.”
“What if I give Dad the money?”
“No.”
“What if I tell Maya she can keep everything?”
Tasha touched his face.
“Baby, you don’t have to solve adult problems by needing less.”
He stared at her.
The sentence seemed unfamiliar.
She realized with horror that perhaps nobody had ever told him that.
A knock sounded downstairs.
Marcus.
Tasha almost ignored it.
Then Jayden said, “Can I ask Dad something?”
“Sure.”
They went down together.
Marcus noticed their faces immediately.
“What happened?”
Jayden stood in front of him.
“You really have emergency money for me?”
Marcus looked at Tasha.
She nodded once.
“Yes,” Marcus said.
“How much?”
“Enough.”
“That means yes.”
Marcus sighed.
“Seventy-four hundred dollars.”
Jayden stared.
“Why?”
“So if something happens, you’re protected.”
Jayden looked around the house.
“Something is happening.”
Marcus had no answer.
Jayden pulled the notebook from under his arm.
He put it on the coffee table beside the three backpacks.
“What’s that?” Marcus asked.
“My list.”
Marcus read several pages.
His face changed slowly.
By the time he reached the envelopes from Lorraine, the muscles in his jaw were tight.
“She gave these to you?”
“Yes.”
Marcus looked at Tasha.
Tasha shook her head.
“I didn’t know.”
Jayden pointed at one envelope.
“That one made Mom cry.”
Marcus opened it.
Then went still.
On the back, in Lorraine’s handwriting, was another note.
If Marcus ever learns how far behind you are, don’t be surprised when he decides Jayden deserves a more stable home.
Marcus looked at Tasha.
Tasha looked at him.
The room became silent.
Lorraine had not merely been collecting money.
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She had been using Marcus as a threat.
And Marcus, by secretly trying to buy the house, had unknowingly helped make that threat believable.
